almost a year...

since i've posted in this bad boy.
you'd think that after a year of not posting, i'd have tons to say, but i'm struggling with what to write.

guess i'll start with school. the past two semesters have been rough and i didn't do too well. but this semester is different. i still lack the motivation and mental drive, but i'm taking two photography classes, a ceramics, and then an online intro to computers class. i really enjoy the photography classes and the ceramics, and the online course is fairly simple, so i can only see this semester as a success. but then again, things happen and all that garbage, so anything is possible. but i'm going to try my hardest to get all a's.

i got two new cameras, a pentax zx-60 [film] and a nikon d40 [digital]. and i adore them both, even though i do favor the nikon. i love being able to develop my own film and all that, but i have to say id rather have instant results rather than play a guessing game. plus, id rather spend 8 hours staring at a computer screen while editing, rather than in the dark with chemicals. but thats just my preference; to each his/her own.

the past year, up until a month or two ago, ive been on a writing binge. everything from random notes, to poems, to short stories or chaptered ones. i used to keep a journal as well, but then i was blogging and everything seemed redundant, so i stuck with technology and ditched the paper for now. but i stopped writing because of the massive writer's block that's made its home in my head. its relentless and extremely irritating. i wish it would leave and ive done tons of different things in attempt to make it disappear, but to no avail. i hope it lets up soon, i miss writing.

i've been a huge hermit crab in the past months, too. haven't seen much of my friends besides random trips to pizza buffets or laser tagging. i just haven't got any desire to leave my house anymore. i could spend days upon days in my room, only leaving to go to the bathroom/shower/eat, and not get bored. it scares me a bit...okay alot. but i dont really think theres anything i can do about it, so i just deal with it.

i hate my job. three years and some odd months at spencers is killing me slowly. i hate my manager. he's a condescending, nit-picking, untrusting douche-bag who needs to go back to akron. no one in the store likes him, and all the customers complain about him. he thinks everyone in the world is below him and he blames everyone else for his mistakes, or for no ones mistake. i could sit here and complain about him for about twenty minutes, but i'll spare the few of you who are going to read this.

and since its already a novel, i'll cut this post short. seems as though i've found some things to write about after all. and i'll leave you with some songs like i used to do. :) thanks for listening to my babble.

ps; I LOVE YOU MARIAH, TORI, AND LEANNE. :)

alyssa

'use somebody' - kings of leon
'high and dry' - radiohead
'dakota' - stereophonics
'sunday best' - augustana